Focus

Long time no writing here. I was immersed in my inner circle, and I lost track of my blog. Guilty without a valid excuse. Today, I would like to converse about what it has been my latest mantra: focus. When I ask people about what “focus” means to them, they tend to say, “Well… it’s about doing one thing.” Today, I want to give you my definition of focus.

Focus is about having a clear intention of your life. It is not about one action or one situation. It is about being mindful of your life as a whole. This is the first strategy I propose to create a circle of excellence. You need to clarify your life purpose. I am not talking about enlightenment. I am far from that! I’m talking about defining who you would like to be! Because, yes I do believe we all need to be open to change to achieve our next best version.

Daniel Goleman states that focus occurs when we align what we do with what we enjoy. So, for me, focus is about taking actions toward one goal aligning all our efforts.

If I ask you, who do you want to be? You do not have to share your definition with anybody. So, be real! What will you say? The brainwork of this post is to write down your definition of your best self in your journal. If you do not have a journal yet, I invite you to have one. There is not a right or wrong way to journaling. It is all about doing it! And whenever you feel you are not who you want to be, stop, scan the scenario, recap, and keep moving forward. This simple exercise will help you to increase your focus and to live in auto-magic, instead of automatic. Trust me!

Until the next one 🙂

Dr. G

WHO ARE YOU?

Long time no writing here. Today, I would like to talk a little bit of what I cover in my workshops about how to create a circle of excellence. The first thing to do is to know who you are.
You need to clarify who you are- or want to be. If I ask you who you are, can you say it in a meaningful way? I mean, could you define yourself beyond title, position, or status – right here, right now? Be real! WHO ARE YOU? Write down this in a journal or a piece of paper. This is the beginning of your self-definition. Only by having this clear you can #BEYOU.

And what if I ask you: Who do you want to be? After writing your definition-hope, you do- start focusing on your best next version. What is that you want others to say about you when you leave the room? Think about your legacy, your real purpose. Write down at least ten traits you consider the most valuable to you. From those ten characteristics, select three and write them in a post it note. Make sure you place that note in your workplace, in your refrigerator, or on your phone. Look at it as much as you can. Especially, before replying to an email. I guarantee you that your tone will change incredibly- for good!

This is a small post. But, I think you have the idea what I mean about #BEYOU as the beginning of any circle of excellence. Remember, the work is from inside out. Let me know if you would like to take this conversation to the next level. I’m planning to host a free webinar soon.

Best,

Dr. G

 

Pick a New You!

 

Some people are not living their life fully. It looks like living is the worst thing that is happening to them. Last week, I did something unusual- you know me I’m breaking habits since mid-2016. For the first time in 8 years living in my current neighborhood, I went to my local gourmet coffee shop and bought a Pumping Spice Latte tall and sat outside of the shop by myself. I have bought that gourmet coffee in the past, but never have sat down outside of the store, at 48-degrees, by myself, on a Monday morning.

On purpose, I put my cell phone on silence and simply started to observe the people who were coming to the store. What a surprise! This coffee shop is not a mom and pop bakery; it is a high-quality coffee store. Not everybody stop here to buy a gourmet coffee on a daily basis. Well, I saw women entering like they were so familiar with the store, some of them with kids in their arms, but with sad faces that didn’t match the action they were taken. Mentally, I was telling them you are blessed, but you don’t see it. Too bad!

Let me describe the scenario a little more, so you can understand my point. It was Monday morning, 48-degrees (in Florida- that’s super cold!), the day was marvelous, no clouds anywhere. It was an excellent day! And still, those women looked that they were trapped in another reality where they were reliving a moment of frustration, sadness, anger, or loneliness. It was hard for me to be no judgmental when I was seeing those faces in my super special Monday morning!

It was special for me because I decided it to be special. I was doing something new, and I was giving me permission to be happy in my new day. Every day when we wake up, we should be grateful for the opportunity that the Universe (God or whoever you feel is your source of power) is giving us. Let’s start deciding to make our days more beautiful and more brilliants. In the end, we are the one living that day.

My brainwork for you is to create a list of the micro-moments of joy you are living for a week. For example, a pleasant conversation with your best friend, that coffee, that large project you finished, etc. Revise that list every day for that week while you are adding more micro-moments of joy to your list as you go. You will notice that the more focused you are on positive things around you, the more miracles you will create. Have a happy day!

Dr. G

Nurturing your talent to be the best!

 

This post will be devoted to all of you who think that having a talent is enough to succeed in life. Sorry to disappoint you. Talent is 20% of the deal; the other 80% is the attitude (dedication and commitment). To be the best you need to keep nurturing your talent!

For example, I have a talent as a public speaker. I have conducted several seminars, and my audiences said to be very pleased (the surveys said). I also feel good after all my conferences. That’s a signal of a job well done- when your soul jumps out  in joy! But, if I want to be the best, I need to keep nurturing this talent. So, I should keep reading, writing the content of my presentations, rehearsing my presentations, improving my style, taking oratory courses, and attend to seminars to learn more about the art of public speaking. Follow me? If I don’t do that, my talent will sink.

Dedication and commitment are the two biggest tools in my portfolio. When I decide to pursue a goal I put all my energy into it. And if during the pursuing of such goal I find something better, I go for it. It is not that I move from one target to another; that is neither dedication nor commitment. I just seize the opportunity of doing something bigger. Since I enjoy each step and grow on each level, I can see the same goal from a different perspective that makes me create a new goal. But, it is not a different one, it is an evolve one. Remember, every day we have the opportunity to create a new reality!

The brainwork for this post is to discover your talents and select the one you feel more connected to it. Do a simple “Google research” of those individuals who you think possess that ability and read their biography or watch a documentary of their life. I am sure you will find at least 20 things they have done that you have not done yet. So, you know what to do next.

Wish you the best!

Dr. G

 

 

 

 

Just 10 degrees!

Many times our ego, sometimes our laziness, and many others our autopilot, prevent us from changing. We live simply repeating every day like is not other way. We are terrified of changing!

Let me try to demystify this word and give you a trick to love it. I have created an acronym for the word change that has helped me to take change as my best friend. The acronym is this: Conscious Happiness And Nonstop Growth through Exploration. My invitation today for you is to understand the power of C.H.A.N.G.E. Let’s start.

The first part of my acronym is Conscious Happiness. For me, happiness is a personal decision; not an outcome of external circumstances. There is no circumstance or person outside of you who can create such state of contentment. That’s why meditation is so important. Meditating every day for 15 minutes will center your mind and will make you more conscious of your inner power.

Did you know that our brain is able to process between 50,000 and 70,000 thoughts a day? I bet you didn’t know, but if you did, that’s awesome! You are closer to change. Practicing conscious happiness will stop the reaction mode in you and it will create a new mode: the happiness mode. Many people think that happiness means to be always laughing. Let me tell you what happiness means to me. Happiness is living in a conscious connection with my abundance and sharing it everywhere. A laugh is a signal of your abundance… not happiness itself. When I’m reading a new book and I feel connected with its content, I feel happy and I’m not laughing… follow me? I’m happy because that content is now part of my abundance and I will be able to share it with others. By the way, I recommend you to read The Universe has your back by Gabby Bernstein. Beautiful and powerful messages there. I’m so excited that I will see her live this upcoming weekend! Okay, let’s keep working in our 10 degrees change.

The second part of my acronym is: Nonstop Growth through Exploration. This part refers to the practice of breaking old habits and exploring new ones to keep moving forward (growing). When you understand the value of adding and deleting habits, you will start living in automagic (antonymous of autopilot). You can create magical moments every day, every minute, every second. But, you need to explore new ways… If you keep doing the same, you will get the same.

Exploration is a fascinating word; but practicing exploration is magical! When you practice exploration all is valid. Careful here! I want you to explore without damaging others or yourself. I’m talking about exploring new ways to create magical moments for you…. It’s about giving you permission to live an adventure every day. For example, I’m living an adventure right now. I have a challenge of changing my daily wake up time. My brother sent me an article about a popular habit in high-level executives of starting working very early in the morning. I know this is not new. But, I guess I am now ready for this message. That article said that the most productive executives are waking up around 4:00 am. The biggest benefit described in that article was that they can focus on their work without interruptions. Pin…I liked that! Today is my fourth day waking up at 4:30 am. It is not easy, but it’s fun….. So far, the miracles around this simple change (I used to get out of my bed at 6:30 am. See, it’s just 2 hours earlier…just 10 degrees!) are great! First, I am confirming –once again- that I can do wherever I decide to do; second, I am manifesting the benefits of tranquility and silence (my family is still sleeping and I can be here writing for my dear blog- It’s 5:11 am); and third, I’m having more time to share with my son when he comes back from school. I need 17 more days to add this challenge to my bucket of habits. Cheer me on!

What I’m doing is practicing nonstop growth through exploration. That’s why you do not need to be afraid of the word “change”. Give yourself permission to explore. If that exploration is not making you feel better than before, just change 10 degrees and explore again.

Once, I explored going to the gym at 5:00 am. People said that it was the best time to go. Many friends told me that my energy level would be at its maximum after a full hour of morning exercise. Well, I went and explored it for 21 days. As you might know you need 21 days of practice to build a new habit. I explored it and it didn’t feel right. I felt tired and with no energy after working out. So, I changed 10 degrees! Now, I go to the gym in the afternoon after I turn my computer off and enjoy myself. See…the idea is to explore and keep moving forward.

If you have read my previous post, you now what’s coming now. Yes, your brainwork! In your notebook write down 10 things you do as part of your daily routine such as waking up, having breakfast, brushing your teeth, etc. Only 10! Beside each activity… describe the way you do them. Then, in a third column, write a different version of the same activity. Your list could look like this one:

Activity	Habit	Exploration
Waking Up	I wake up at 6:30 am every week day	I will explore waking up at 4:30 am every week day

Try one activity at the time for 21 days. That’s what I call a 10 degrees change! So, if after that time, you feel like you are experiencing a better life (you are happier than before) keep doing it and go on to the next activity in your list, and so on. If not, you have two options… keep doing the same way as before or try a new exploration. The idea is to practice change: Conscious Happiness and Nonstop Growth through Exploration. Wish you a great exploration time and I’m here if you want to talk! Until my next post 🙂

Dr. G

 

 

A Positive Habit to be In-Control

In my last post, I talked a little about control. Today, I want to dedicate my post to this topic.

We (some people more than others) think we can control every situation around us. But, guess what, we do not control anything outside us! As soon as we say something, it belongs to somebody else. As soon as we touch something, it is right there outside. That is why my post today is called: Positive Habit to be In-control. We can only control what is inside of us. Follow me?

Everything starts Inside us….so if you want to control something (knowing that we cannot control anything), let’s start controlling ourselves. My best way to be In-control is by practicing silent moments. I understand silence sounds like “mute forever”. Let’s not take this literally. My silent moments sometimes take the form of mediation, and other times it’s just no talking for an hour! As Jon Kabat-Zinn said, meditation is “a way of letting all the doing you are engaged and case about come out of being”. My silent proposal (what I call a positive habit) for you is to hold your judgment until you are able to create Win-Win situations for all!

To be in-control is about creating Win-Win situations around us. Only by creating victories for all we can expand our positive energy and evolve in a joyful way. Stephen Covey talked about this Win-Win approach under his Habit # 4 in his masterpiece 7^th Habit of Highly Effective People. He said that Win-Win is about finding a third alternative where “it’s not your way or my way; it’s a better way”. I have to confess that sometimes I cannot find the third alterative easily, so I remain in silence to be in-control.

Yes, you might be thinking now “It’s easier said than done”. But, I am saying this based on my own experience. The in-control habit is a recent addition to my life portfolio. Before I discovered the power of mediation and silent moments, I used to react in a furious way. I used to be sarcastic and defensive. I guess it was my way to show others how intelligent I was. Please do not judge me, I was young. Now, that I am more mature and I can say that I have evolved!

So, how can we create Win-Win situations to be in-control? First, you need to understand that when you hurt somebody else you are not in-control. I am not going to be too deep here, but when you hurt somebody you are giving more energy to the situation. Now, it is all outside, and out-of-your-control. When you create Win-Win situations and find the best way, you are in-control of the situation now and the situation will follow your lead.

For example, when you are in the middle of an anger episode and you act upon such feeling, you might create a victory for you. You feel relieved and ready to keep going. You feel like winning, correct? What happens with the other part…are they winning? I doubt it. When you don’t consider the other part in your victories you are not in-control. You loose it ever more! Now, others are controlling you because you react to their actions. See how it works!?

The brainwork (home work for the brain) of this post is to practice for the next 5 days to be in complete silence for 1 hour a day (outside of your napping or sleeping time). During that hour take a piece of paper or a notebook, and write down (not typing in your phone or tablet) all things that cross your mind. That will be the list of “third alternatives” to respond to your next life challenge. You will be amazed of the world inside of you! I hope to read about your experience soon.

Dr. G

 

Creator of Circles of Excellence

Why do I call myself a creator of Circles of Excellence? No long time ago I was assigned to a team of 197 members and I said to myself: “This is a big circle!” One morning I decided to meditate as every morning but this time for 45 minutes (first time ever!). During such wonderful meditation I could clearly see that my influence needed to be excellent, so I have to create a dedicated circle for my own team. I started writing ideas about how I can bring 197 team members together as a community; how I can ensure that all of them wanted to follow me; how to be effective, and so on. Right then, I started to pair each item of the list with a concrete action. What I experienced during those minutes helped me to create my first Circle of Excellence.

I have read probably eight times the book I call my “business bible”: The 7^th Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. So, when I was working on my action plan (after the meditation) I decided to have my own circle. If you have read that book already you know what I’m talking about. If you have not, well let me explain you just briefly the main idea of that book. But, definitely, you want to read it.

Stephen Covey said that to become self-aware of our own productivity we need to look at two separate circles. The first one is the circle of concern where we should include everything we could be “worried” about, BUT we cannot do anything to change it. As Covey said “things that we have no real control”. Our worries about the world poverty, kids with cancer, crime, pedophilia, other’s opinions, etc., are in that circle of concern. Anything that if we pause our thoughts for a moment, which I know it’s very difficulty, we will realize that we cannot do anything about it from our current corner. A lot of people keep torturing themselves for issues that are not in their control. Not even when they cry and develop gastritis for it. Yes, we can develop diseases due to excessive concern. For example, I just met a teenager, she is 16, and she has developed a severe gastritis simply by worrying about things she could not control. Yes, she is just 16 and she is suffering of emotional stress and needs to visit a psychologist once per week. Her depression and anxiety levels are rocking and her insecurity is also at the top of the roof. I’m not a psychologist, but I know this is not right. Anyway, let me keep talking about why I call myself a creator of Circles of Excellence…

The second circle Stephen Covey talked about was the circle of influence. In the circle of influence resides everything that we can change. All the situations that we can “control”. When I talk about control I’m referring to our decisions and actions, not about the outcome of them. This is material for a future post. But, I hope you are following me here. Okay- that’s all I needed to say about my “business bible” to frame this post.

At the beginning, I was pulling all the strategies in my managerial and leadership toolbox, and started overworking to show my capacities. My ego was definitely winning space here. What mistake!

I didn’t need to do anything but, stop, breath, and understand that I don’t control anything but my thoughts. Then, I realized that the more genuine I could be, the more my team will trust me, and if I was worried I couldn’t be happy. And this last is my real deal (#behappy).

So, my first action was calling each of them. I explained my vision for the team and asked if they considered such vision as something of their interest. Many of them said yes immediately. Many others said no. And, it was fine! I knew that some of them would not be ready for my message yet. So, after those great conversations, I went from 197 team members to 115. Many of my colleagues said that I did a Spring-cleaning.

Stephen Covey was right! The more I focused on my circle of influence the bigger it became. Now, I have a very committed team that is my Circle of Excellence. They inspire me “to give” more every day! I focus all my energy in building this community, pay attention to what I can control, and leave the rest to the Universe (sometimes I call it God). This is the key if you want to create a Circle of Excellence. You must create a synergistic environment.

The power of proactive focus and positive energy is expanding my creator power. And trust me it is not hard- if you enjoy helping others to become their best next version! If you are going to the Leadership in Higher Education Conference in Atlanta you will know about how to create your own Circle of Excellence. I have developed 4 easy strategies for it. If not, you have to wait until the next post.

For now, I would like to leave you with a brainwork (homework for your brain). Create a list of 50 things you are worried about. Include everything from a very complex thing such as the world peace to a very trivial such as the price of milk. Then, start shifting them in two columns. One column you can call it “I Cannot Control”. The second column you can call it   “I Can Control”. I guarantee you that the second column will have more items than the first one. We always think we can control everything. At least it is the trend I have seen in my several experiments. Try this brainwork and let me know how it went….

Dr. G